Igor Volkov – Internet Marketer

Author Archive

Lenny (not his real name) has been cleaning toilets and bathrooms in Sears Tower for twenty years before, by the sheer accident, he became a millionaire literally overnight. How could that happen, you ask? The answers is simply two words: Internet marketing.

Lenny immigrated to the United States from Laos in nineteen ninety five. Having no money, no job, and no English speaking ability whatsoever he, as millions of other immigrants, had no other choice as to become a toilet cleaner. Getting paid just five dollars per hour, Lenny could never dream to become an overnight success, appear on CNN and Oprah, and get to the cover page of People magazine. So, what happened?

Lenny met Igor (not real name) in the toilet when he was cleaning the urinals as usual. Igor, the successful Internet multimillionaire, who made his fortune promoting other people products and services online for an affiliate commission using the network of WordPress blogs and web 2.0 properties, maybe seen something in Lenny’s eyes, or maybe felt a kind of drive, the desire to succeed with which Lenny was polishing the urinal that Igor was using at the same time. To cut long story short, the very same evening Igor and Lenny, after having ten beers each at the local pub, went to Igor’s apartment and registered the domain for the online store to sell toilet cleaning supplies. The idea was to create a steady stream of income for Lenny to be able to quit his much hated toilet cleaning job. Probably because he had too much beer, or maybe because of a hunch, the call of the intuition, Lenny, instead of promoting the website, immediately put it on sale on Flippa. You can only imagine how he felt when the next morning, together with a terrible hangover, he got a three million dollar offer for his online store from a buyer who prefer to remain anonymous.

Truly, Internet marketing makes miracles and creates millionaires. If you don’t believe me, ask Lenny, the toilet cleaner turned Internet millionaire overnight.

There were no signs of the coming disaster. Matt (name was changed), forty five years old Australian computer programmer was in a train on the way back to his beautiful three bedroom home in Penrith when the phone rung.

“You wife sleeps with an Internet marketer, ” Matt recognised his mate Jack’s voice (not real name).

“No, it can’t possible be true,” Matt exclaimed.

“It is true, dummy,” answered Jack. “I just saw him climbing out of the bedroom window.”

Matt couldn’t believe it. How it could possible happen? They were in love, recently married, just moved from the modest Bondi Beach apartment into the brand new three bedroom house in Penrith. What went wrong? He didn’t want to believe. But the truth is, Matt’s case is not an exception. It is a rule of the modern times.

More and more women nowadays choose to sleep with young, beautiful, fit, and, of course, filthy rich Internet marketing millionaires. Fast cars, huge waterfront houses, yachts, the lifestyle of a typical Internet marketer is fast, fun and irresistibly attractive to both young single Australian women and bored, lonely housewives. The number of Internet millionaires in Australia more than doubled during the last five years. Red Ferrari, waterfront property in Eastern Suburbs and carefree lifestyle is a norm for these highly successful businessmen. Are you in job now, trying to make ends meet, or are you on a way to become the next filthy rich Internet marketer? The choice is yours.

PS. It’s been three months since Matt quit his computer programming job and become an Internet marketer. He sold his house at Penrith and moved to Cronulla beach. He is yet to become an Internet millionaire but he is not is a rush. His wife is back, as well as his life which he is really enjoying now. Internet marketing truly help to save marriages and create strong relationships.

Millions of Internet marketers all over the world are rejoiced and celebrate this long awaited event. Today pope John Paul IX gave his blessing to the Internet marketing and declared Internet marketing, affiliate promotions and pay per click advertising to be “righteous and the proper for every catholic who want to live in the world of prosperity and abundance”.

This papal blessing resolved the long conflict between Catholics and Internet marketers all over the world. “I am a catholic and a good man,” Jim (not real name) tells our reporter. “How come I can’t make serious money online? This is unfair. This is not what Jesus wanted for us all.” But now Jim, together with hundreds of thousands of other catholic Internet marketers can be at piece. Internet marketing got its blessing as being righteous and a proper way to make money online.

The special Internet marketing service is going to be held at all major catholic churches around the world this Sunday. God bless Internet marketing.

Harvey Norman, Nick Scaley, Domain, KMart, and Traget, all the top Australian retail stores are in panic. Sales are in the basement. Tens of  millions of dollars lost every day. Ten major retail stores has been closed last week in Sydney alone. But the current situation is even worse than that. This disaster started to affect even a medium size retail stores and soon to get to the small businesses and corner shops. Australia ecomony is in grave danger. But what caused all this chaos in a first place?

“These bloody Internet marketers with their online stores,” James (name has been intentionaly changed for protection), the owner of a small shoe store in Bankstown, says to our correspondent. “They are killing us”. Indeed, Internet marketing is booming in Australia. Hundreds of new online stores and affiliate blogs are created every days by  the new generation of lazy Internet millionaires. Smart shopper prefer to buy online to save money and hassle of going to retails stores with unfriendly sales representatives and overpriced goods.

“It is all about the customer,” says Igor (not a real name). “We deliver better goods, better service, and better customer experience. Who need this retailers nowadays?”. And it is true, the effect of the Internet marketing on the retailers is devastating. What’s you opinion? Can the retailers survive? Leave your comments.

St. John church is celebrating its 120th birthday today. The monumental cathedral on the top of the hill can be seen a few kilometers away. Over the hundred of regular church visitor from several small towns in the area are gathering to celebrate this special moment. But all of them have something more than just a special moment to celebrate.

“This was totally unexpected, real surprise,” pastor Andy told me when we met to have a cup of coffee the day before the celebration. “I was expecting anything to happen but this”. His voice starts to tremble. And there is a good reason for this. St. John church got the birthday present no other church ever seen before. One hundred and twenty kilogram golden bell was donated by the successful Internet marketing millionaire who asked to remain anonymous. “I am grateful to the God and the church for all that wealth and abundance I currently enjoy,” says Igor (the name was changed to protect his identity). “This is a very small price to pay for all the support and guidance I got from the pastor Andy during all these years”.

The sound of golden bell can be heard a few kilometers away from the church. Magnificent, harmonious tune. All thanks to the Internet marketing.

Recently opened Laos Stock Exchange attracted interest of investors from all over the world. Laotian kip (that’s their money) is on the rise. It is slowly starting to challenge the evergreen Unites States dollar as a world’s currency of choice. Australian investors are in panic. The position of Aussie dollar on the world currency exchange became totally unstable. Successful investors from Great Britain responded by moving millions of dollars of the investment capital to Eastern Europe, specifically to Russia. The effect on the world economy is tremendous.

However, it doesn’t bother successful Internet marketers at all. In fact, Internet marketers from Sydney, Australia are the ones to blame for this enormous success of this small and, to this date, relatively unknown Asian country. The launch of Laos Stock Exchange would never be possible without careful planning, and precise execution of the Product Launch Formula blueprint, created by Australian Internet marketers. Brilliantly run pre-launch video campaign on Laotian national television channel is responsible for over half a billion dollar worth of trades in a first ten minutes after Laos Stock Exchange was open. Well done, Australian Internet marketing wizards.

Uganda is one of the poorest African countries in the whole world. Hundreds and thousands of people die every day of hunger there. And many of this people are poor little innocent children. How can this possible happen in our world of prosperity and abundance? How could we forget about these little kids dying without McDonald’s hamburgers and french fries?

But don’t worry. Internet marketing is to the rescue. The news recently came out that over a thousand of successful Internet marketers from the United States, Great Britain, Australia, and New Zealand are forming a new alliance to help end the world hunger. And they start with Ugandan children. Hundreds of thousands of dollars will be collected via distributed networks of affiliate blogs and pay per click campaigns. Even the distributors of adware are in to help Internet marketers in this generous and noble mission. God speed, heroes of the Internet marketing. Ugandan children will always remember your generosity and will be forever grateful for having a McDonald’s hamburgers and french fries to eat.